Tag Archives: not gay

This post is not about gay sex or your sister’s boobs. It is about Oprah, as all my posts are, dammit.

I’m new to the blogosphere ala WordPress. I have another blog on Blogger, but that is a nice, clean family blog where I am a good mother and I write about how hilarious my sons are pretty much for the benefit of their grandparents.  That one I disabled from showing up in any searches and now I’m glad I did. At WordPress they tell you what search terms people used to find your blog.

May I take a minute to tell my loyal readers how people find this blog? Below is a list, in no particular order, of the exact search terms that found (Love) Notes to Self:

  1. gay women looking for straight women
  2. all he took were pictures off (sic) my breasts
  3. how to ask ur sister to show u her boobs
  4. sex gay teens
  5. gay men vagina
  6. dumb republicans
  7. lopsided breast
  8. oprah vision board
  9. picture of my sisters boobs
  10. bowlcut
  11. teaching my sister boobs
  12. my sister’s boobies
  13. lesbians

I’m really disturbed by this.  I mean, not ONE SINGLE PERSON who searched for “oprah” or “how i plot to make oprah my bff” or “loving constructive criticism of oprah” or “oprah, bitch pleeze” or “oprah should politely dismiss gayle and be friends with Love” or even “Oprah sister boobs”  found my blog.  This blog is primarily about Oprah. I have not written a single post (except the first) that did not include my dear Oprah in it. I take my devotion to Oprah very seriously, so I’m shocked and offended that the only people who find my blog are miscreants looking for their sister’s boobs.  Or gay women.  I guess I think a lot wrote about both of those things, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t write about gay men’s vaginas (WTF?)  so I can’t really explain that one.  I write about OPRAH.  And all of my writing about other things are an unfortunate side effect of my self-diagnosed ADD. People should find my blog whenever and wherever they want to read about my scintillating thoughts on Oprah. And they aren’t.  My voice is being silenced – drowned out by The Man….Oprah and all her media outlets.

(Love shakes fist at sky) Dammit, Oprah! Why do you resist me?

I now know why the caged bird sings what it is like to be a misunderstood like Carrot Top and TomKat. I may have to rethink my whole blog and its mission.  Internet, I implore you — if Love writes a blog that fellow Oprah cult members fans cannot find, is it really a blog at all?