This post is not about gay sex or your sister’s boobs. It is about Oprah, as all my posts are, dammit.

I’m new to the blogosphere ala WordPress. I have another blog on Blogger, but that is a nice, clean family blog where I am a good mother and I write about how hilarious my sons are pretty much for the benefit of their grandparents.  That one I disabled from showing up in any searches and now I’m glad I did. At WordPress they tell you what search terms people used to find your blog.

May I take a minute to tell my loyal readers how people find this blog? Below is a list, in no particular order, of the exact search terms that found (Love) Notes to Self:

  1. gay women looking for straight women
  2. all he took were pictures off (sic) my breasts
  3. how to ask ur sister to show u her boobs
  4. sex gay teens
  5. gay men vagina
  6. dumb republicans
  7. lopsided breast
  8. oprah vision board
  9. picture of my sisters boobs
  10. bowlcut
  11. teaching my sister boobs
  12. my sister’s boobies
  13. lesbians

I’m really disturbed by this.  I mean, not ONE SINGLE PERSON who searched for “oprah” or “how i plot to make oprah my bff” or “loving constructive criticism of oprah” or “oprah, bitch pleeze” or “oprah should politely dismiss gayle and be friends with Love” or even “Oprah sister boobs”  found my blog.  This blog is primarily about Oprah. I have not written a single post (except the first) that did not include my dear Oprah in it. I take my devotion to Oprah very seriously, so I’m shocked and offended that the only people who find my blog are miscreants looking for their sister’s boobs.  Or gay women.  I guess I think a lot wrote about both of those things, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t write about gay men’s vaginas (WTF?)  so I can’t really explain that one.  I write about OPRAH.  And all of my writing about other things are an unfortunate side effect of my self-diagnosed ADD. People should find my blog whenever and wherever they want to read about my scintillating thoughts on Oprah. And they aren’t.  My voice is being silenced – drowned out by The Man….Oprah and all her media outlets.

(Love shakes fist at sky) Dammit, Oprah! Why do you resist me?

I now know why the caged bird sings what it is like to be a misunderstood like Carrot Top and TomKat. I may have to rethink my whole blog and its mission.  Internet, I implore you — if Love writes a blog that fellow Oprah cult members fans cannot find, is it really a blog at all?

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7 responses to “This post is not about gay sex or your sister’s boobs. It is about Oprah, as all my posts are, dammit.

  1. Oh man, this IS troubling. WordPress is obviously out to get you. Or it is clearly a ploy by Oprah’s “people” to keep the crazies away. BUT THEY NEED TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE DIFFERENT LOVE! YOU AND OPRAH ARE MEANT TO BE.

    “Ebony and Ivory…..”

    From Love – Nel, sometimes I feel like you’re the only one who really gets me, you know? This is like one of those pre-teen movies like Some Kind of Wonderful or Pretty in Pink where we’re really good friends, but I’m pining for Oprah the whole time and I just can’t see that it isn’t Oprah who is my soul mate – it is you. Wow, that was powerful.

  2. Pingback: This post is not about gay sex or your sister’s boobs. It is about Oprah, as all my posts are, dammit. | Global Blogger

  3. Yes! I also blog about Oprah (actually, I find a way to work her into posts for the Google hits) yet most of mine come from:

    a. floppy breasts
    b. lady cougar
    c. How to get a cougar girlfriend

    Sigh….

    From Love – Wow. Now if only Oprah would ditch Stedman and date Rob Pattinson – we’d get more hits than ever. Floppy breast Oprah cougar. Nice.

  4. What!? I thought this blog was about your sister’s boobs? Isn’t that in the mission statement???

    No but seriously, WordPress obviously had a brain fart.

    From Love – Right?! Surely people must be using search terms like “oprah bitch pleeze” and they need to find (Love) Notes. Its an injustice!

  5. An injustice indeed! I can’t believe people actually google ‘how to get your sister to show u her boobs.’ this is crazy. Well, my thought is that oprah actually owns all blog sites ( and the whole internet, for that matter, and blocks her name from all searches unless they involve dr oz or Tom cruise.

    From Love – Oh my God. You might be on to something, J9. I must start to incorporate Dr.Oz and Dr. Laura Berman, the sex therapist, in my posts or Oprah will deny any search access. And it sounds like a little ‘cougar’ action will work as well.

  6. UPDATE:

    Two new searches today:

    1) drunk blow up air mattress clip
    2) my hairdresser is transgendered

    Do I really write about all this stuff? Tune in next time for when I tell everybody how I was once a man. Honestly. But its not what you think.

  7. wow, that’s some interesting stuff! wish i could see how folks find my blog (darn Blogger!)

    now, would u please get back 2 talking about gay men’s vaginas 4 goodness sake?!?!

    ;0)

    From Love – Yes, I will write about gay men’s vaginas so that when the person who keeps searching for that will find some answers. First, I’ll have to search for it myself so I have the facts. Thanks MamaSkates!

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