Infants are 64 times more likely to be maimed or killed in cars displaying a “Baby on Board” sign

The study concluded that other drivers are more likely to want to create a head on collision scenario with cars that have such a sign displayed. The study was done by me today as I was driving through the school parking lot. Really, people?

I’m sorry, but big fucking deal you have a baby in the car. Lots of people do. They also have hot coffee, autistic teenagers, glow in the dark rosaries and pet iguanas and you don’t see them running around with signs.  Baby on Board signs are the worst invention for cars since Truck Nutz for three reasons: 1) They incite road rage,  2) Oprah does not endorse them and 3) they kill babies.

Now, if pedophiles and serial killers would just put signs on their cars that say “Child Molester”, “Serial Killer”, “Sex Offender” or “Someone fucking hammered on board” signs, that would be helpful.  And because I’m a patriot, I won’t even charge for that big MBA idea.

A helpful sign

A helpful sign

Normally I don’t dispense free advice, but parents, I strongly urge you to  keep  your babies alive by not being fucking obnoxious. Lay down the signs and get yourself some Xanax.  Seriously. Please.

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2 responses to “Infants are 64 times more likely to be maimed or killed in cars displaying a “Baby on Board” sign

  1. Wow! Would you make a great mother!!!!!!!

    From Love — Thank you for your endorsement. I knew I wasn’t the only one!

  2. I seriously cannot tell you how long I have been complaining about the stupid, stupid signs. I hate them with a passion. I mean what do that think? That someone is going to ram the shit out of their car if the don’t have that sign?

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